I Am NOT Your Stereotype

Hi friends! Todays post will be really different from the regular poems and life stories that I normally do, so if you’re not interested in hearing some hard truths, click out of this and carry on with your day! But if you’re ready to hear something real and raw you probably should get comfortable in your chair, and grab some tea 😛

Before I begin, let me just clear a few things up. Yes I’m Asian, and no I am not Chinese, because surprise surprise… Not all Asians in the world are Chinese. As a matter of fact, I’m Taiwanese, and I don’t play the piano or the violin. I don’t really like Asian food… in fact, I prefer Mexican cuisine, and I was adopted by my Caucasian parents when I was 7 months old…so I’ve basically been raised in America my whole life, which is probably why I can speak English so well. You know, because 15 years of knowing a language can really help you out in that department. I don’t want to be a doctor or an engineer, and I don’t actually use “Ching, Chang, or Chong” in my everyday vocabulary.

Now by now, I’m sure you can guess by the title of this post, and the lovely introduction that you’ve just read, that I’m going to be talking to you today about racism and stereotypes. Yay! Racism in our society tends to be an extremely controversial topic, and most of us will simply gloss over it in an attempt to convince ourselves  that it doesn’t exist, when in actuality, it very much does exist. (And trust me, I’ve tried to pretend that these things didn’t exist or bother me…It’s definitely a real thing that people do) I’ve noticed as I grow older, and learn more things about people through experiences of my own,  that many individuals are placed into “people groups” with definitions that define all of them…Not as individuals mind you, but as one people group. And that’s what I believe racism really is…Not really treating us as a “minority” or making fun of our ancestor’s culture, but more so the act of taking away our right to be something or someone else other than the box that society puts us in to make them feel comfortable. Because it’s easier right? It’s easier just to check off the box next to “Asian” and immediately assume that they’re a bad driver, or that they make all A’s effortlessly. After all…that’s what we’ve been told right?

And let me be clear with you, I don’t think Asians are the only ethnicity being targeted here, because it’s honestly just stereotypes in general that silently exist while slowly tearing us down. I just felt like writing about how it feels to be on the receiving end of racism and all the fun jokes and stereotypes that come along with being an Asian American in 2017, because that’s the only experience I have had. And for the record, my family, my extended family, and the majority of my friends are Caucasian, and I love them very dearly so don’t think for a second I’m hating on them! More so, I’m simply addressing some of things people have said to me, or experiences I’ve had that aren’t necessarily acceptable or entertaining. So hang tight my friends…It’s about to get really real.

 

Can you see? 

You’d think people would be considerate enough not to ask this question, even if it is in a “joking manner”, but being surrounded by other teenagers my age is a whole new ball game… And yes, yes I can see. I  actually have 20 20 vision, but thank you so much for asking!

 

…But where are you really from? 

When people ask me where I’m from, I get caught off guard and assume they must know that I moved from Illinois to Texas when in actuality, they just want to know where my ancestors are from. It catches me off guard, because I myself don’t really go around  asking other individuals where their ancestors are from…It sounds stupid hearing it like that, but that’s what I hear when you ask me, “But where are you really from?”

It’s because you’re Asian 

If I could get a dollar every time someone has said this to me…oh my goodness I would be rich. Y’all… Please don’t tell me that I only got my grade because of my ethnicity. I work my butt off for my grades, and it has absolutely nothing to do with my race. It’s not like an A+ is just handed to me on a silver platter. No…I earn that grade, and you know what? It’s not easy. So please don’t belittle the work and time I’ve put into anything by telling me all of my success is because I’m Asian.

You should know that! You’re Asian! 

Once again…Just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I fit every bullet point stereotypical qualification that has been assigned to my ethnicity. I’m not the best at math (I’m where I am academically because I pay attention in class, do my homework, and study hard) and don’t even get me started on doing math in my head! I don’t know every math equation you throw at me, I don’t speak Mandarin or Japanese or whatever you think I am, and I definitely don’t know any martial arts.

Toy makers

So I’d like to end on this one, because it’s an experience that has been permanently etched into my brain, and I can almost guarantee to you that almost all Asian Americans in public schools go through this every single day. And as a disclaimer: This all happened last year, and believe it or not…A person can change a lot and learn a lot in a year, and I’m sure if I were to be faced with this situation again, it wouldn’t bother me as much, because I know we’re all “young dumb and broke high school kids.”

So, last year was my freshman year of high school. I go to an extremely small private school, which resulted in my class having about 20 students, myself being the only Asian American. Regardless of the number, all the ninth graders are required to take a Geography course, which makes total sense to me, but I’m sure all of you know that Asia will most likely be a topic for discussion in such a class. Without wanting to believe it, I realized that I was actually dreading that part of the course. Throughout the whole year I got dumb Asian racist jokes constantly,  and they don’t always bother me, because I honestly don’t care sometimes, but I knew something like this would be a whole new experience, and let me tell you…It was something else.

We had been studying Asia for about a week, and you better believe all the jokes I was getting already, but nothing compared to this one day that our class decided to play hangman using words from our geography books. It started off with dumb things. For example…Some kid in my class chose the word “Kon’nichiwa” and this kid kept on saying, “Come on Mei! You should know this!” When someone finally guessed all the letters they all laughed and the kid said again, “Cmon Mei! You should’ve known that!” Everyone laughed, and I shook it off, because that’s what I’m supposed to do right?

Not too long after that, another kid chose the topic “Asians”, for the phrase we were supposed to guess, and that phrase turned out to be, “Rice eating toy makers.” Everyone lost it and started laughing and cracking jokes left and right, including some of my friends. I pretended it didn’t bother me, because that’s what I’ve been taught. I’ve been taught to “take a joke” and to not be “too sensitive” or “easily offended.” But try being in a room where everyone’s making fun of your ethnicity. Sure it wasn’t all directed specifically at me, but guess what? It all hurt me really bad actually, and what’s worse is that I didn’t have the guts to speak up, because that was my attempt at ignoring racism. And you might ask “Where was the teacher?”…”Why didn’t they do something?” Well I have an answer for you! It simply is that they didn’t care. Because it’s completely normal now. We’ve made it the norm to make these little jokes here and there, because guess what? They slip by, and I guess it’s okay because Asians are the perfect model of race right? It’s okay, because they’re supposed to be able to take the jokes as they are…Jokes. And I’m sure a lot of Asians do take them as jokes, myself included, but this specific experience was awful. That time I spent in that classroom  with my face behind a book, laughing it off, pretending to ignore the jokes was the most terrible feeling in the world, and it’s been real hard to forget it, because not one of my friends spoke up to tell everyone to lay off the jokes, and they added in a few themselves. In conclusion to this experience I’ve just shared with you, I’ve realized that it’s not the big things that bother me…Rather these little things that pass by as “okay” over and over and over. Yes I can take a dumb racist joke but sometimes enough is enough and sometimes it’s not funny anymore to be the punch line of your humor.

 

And so yeah, maybe I’m making a big deal out of these little things, and maybe I should toughen up some and take a joke, and maybe I need to say something to stop them…but in the end… I don’t think my getting tired and drained from 15 years of being the punch line in your jokes is something to be labeled as “easily offended.” Yes I can take the jokes, and sure…Maybe I can find them hilarious at times, but sometimes there’s such a thing as going too far.

So in conclusion to this long rambling, I just want to say that I am not Asian. I am not a race, because you know what? My ethnicity doesn’t define me or confine me to certain standards or normalcy’s of a culture. Who I am is so much more than my ethnicity, and if you’re willing to know me as something more than “that Asian girl”, I’d really appreciate that 🙂

 

Okay friends sorry for the high key rant…! It’s just something I really needed to get out for years, and it’s also something I’m a bit passionate about, so if you’ve made it this far, you’re a real one 😉

So until next time…God bless and live life well ❤

S E R E N I T Y

||the moonlight kissed

the endless waters,

seemingly wishing

the sweet memories

a gentle farewell||

 

Okay friends that’s a wrap 😛 I hope you enjoyed today’s post!

So until next time…God bless and live life well ❤

 

 

H Y P O C R I T E

 

||they don’t see

the pain you

cause me everyday.

 

they don’t hear

the words you use

to tear me down

 

over and over again

never stopping to

let me breathe.

 

they don’t feel

the fist clenched

in my gut

 

willing me to

finally snap

and shatter;

 

scattering the pieces

that kept me sane

and held together

 

all across the

endless void that

i’ve been confined to.

 

they don’t know

how draining it is

to love one-sided…

 

to hold onto the

edge with one hand

just so i can save you…

 

you hypocrite

you who thinks

you can do no wrong

 

while pushing me

down down down;

an endless descent.

 

they don’t understand

the empty words they

use to build you up.

 

the false praise

they pour over you

raising you higher

 

just so you can

simply tear me down

lower, and lower still||

 

Okay friends that’s a wrap 😛 Sorry this one’s a little heavy; there will be happier ones coming 🙂

So until next time…God bless and live life well ❤

Unbreakable Words

 

Write. In my religion we’re taught that every living thing, every leaf, every bird, is only alive because it contains the secret word for life. That’s the only difference between us and a lump of clay. A word. Words are life, Liesel. -Max Vandenburg

 

Hi guys! It’s Mei 🙂

Today I have a poem for y’all that was previously shared on my blog about two years ago. I had forgotten all about this one, and I thought I’d “re-share” it with you in 2017! As you can see by the title, the poem is called “Unbreakable Words”, and was inspired by the 2013 film “The Book Thief”, which was based on the best selling  historical novel written by Mark Zusak in 2005. (You can find the original blog post here, for further insight on the poem)

||An ongoing story
Is what it creates
A creator in the making
The ease of mistakes

It forms your breath
Every intake and out
It hears every whisper
And the loudest of shouts

It provides the spark of your smile
And the joy of your eyes
It lays the dirt of the ground
And paints the blue in the skies

It moves with the beat of your heart
And your rhythmic hum
It swims in your mind
Like fire drowned in the sun

It makes up every sonnet
Every song ever played
It gives depths to all poems
And gives life to what’s made

It chances your heart
And brings you to tears
It fills you with peace
And feeds each of your fears

It’s the very root of confusion
It’s the fine lines of hate
It causes you to question
If it’s all up to fate

It provides the love for your soul
To finally find one another
It brushes the blush on your cheeks
And the touch of your lips against the other

It plays the songs of your passion
The tunes of your mind
It sets you apart greatly
It makes you one of a kind

It creates your anger
Your sadness and pain
It cloaks you in pride
Like a lion’s mane

It opens the eyes of the clouded
The lied to, the hated
It can seem like an error…
A phrase misstated

It sews us together
It frees all who are alone
It’s a chamber of life
To the things unknown

It gives life a meaning
And mends all the fractures
It forms you and I
And gives our lives chapters

Each syllable stated
Can cause our story to bend
But it won’t ever break
At least…Till the end||

Okay, friends that’s a wrap 😛 I hope you enjoyed today’s post!

So until next time…God bless and live life well ❤

7.31.17

I have made new friends and have many new people that I know. But hey, you will always be a special part of my heart because no one has been able to replace the space you left in it.  -Stephen Lob

 

Hi guys! It’s Mei 🙂

And oh my goodness…Summer is almost over, which is both devastating and relieving. “How is that?” you might ask…Well this Summer has basically consisted of the occasional party, swimming, a run to the movies every so often, and hanging out with friends HOWEVER the majority of my time is spent in my room watching Netflix for unhealthy amounts of hours, which is completely amazing, but by now I’m honestly ready to be productive, and get things done. Although I’m pretty sure two weeks into school I’ll be wishing I was still back in Summer, but HEY that’s how things work right?

ANYWAY! Let’s look on the bright side right? Yesterday my family and I got to spend the majority of the day with the most amazing family ever! We have been friends with them ever since I was in first grade when I met their son Kyle and his parents at the memory verse table that I was assigned to in Awana Sparky’s. Sadly, since they moved to Arizona a few years back, and we moved to Texas, we never really got the chance to meet up. BUT yesterday we did, and I honestly haven’t had that much fun, and laughed that much in so long. There’s something about their family and our family that just clicks, and when we’re all together it’s like a celebration all the time, because there’s not a moment where we’re not laughing or smiling. They make me so happy and content, and even though we hadn’t seen them in almost four years, it seemed like nothing changed, because we just picked right up from where we left off, and a friend told me that that’s how you know they’re the true stuff 😛 But somehow I kind of already knew that.

We started off the evening swimming (no surprise there hah that’s all I do) at the hotel that they were staying at, and raided the snack bar, while the parents drank their wine and bubbly drinks. After that, we spent a good thirty minutes changing and going back and forth about what type of food we wanted to eat and where we wanted to eat. Finally we decided on Mexican food, which was absolutely perfect considering we were in the right city for the best Tex Mex ❤ The food was amazing, but the company was even better (if that’s possible, because lemme tell ya…I got some gooooood enchiladas…), although I’m pretty sure our waitress was already done with us after ten minutes 😛 The night went by way too quickly, and we stayed in the restaurant until twenty minutes past closing time, when the owner, not so subtly, hinted that we leave. We left the building, but stood in the parking lot talking, and messing around for a while. The parents kept on saying it was time to say goodbye, but of course wherever we migrated, we just continued to talk until it was actually time to say goodbye (after saying goodbye like three times :P), and you all know I hate goodbyes. Thankfully I didn’t cry, but a thought did come across my mind, as we were driving away.

Imagine how easy life would be if our family’s were in each other’s lives more than the “once every three or four years meet up”. We all get along so well, and they make me so happy, so why wouldn’t God want us all to be together? How is it that through certain circumstances, two families that work almost perfectly together were split apart 1,000 miles away? It didn’t make sense to me, and I’m still wondering why it had to play out this way, but then I realized that all of the amazing things and the awesome people here in Texas would never have been part of my life, and vise versa for them in Arizona. This whole thing served as a reminder that God really does have a plan for everything, and that there’s always a bigger picture. I mean it makes no humanly sense to why He’d want two family’s from Illinois to become friends, and then have them move all the way across the country in two different states. I mean what if back in that Sparky’s room, I was assigned to a different table? There’s no way meeting them was some random fate that “just so happened.” God put them in our lives for a specific reason, and I know a friendship like the one we have with them will last pretty darn long !!

Okay friends that’s a wrap! I hope you enjoyed this very casual, non-poetry, blog post 😛

So until next time…God bless and live life well ❤

 

Eternity of Goodbyes

||Have you ever felt pain this bad?

Almost like saying goodbye

To those you love

Over and over and over again

Every time feeling as though

Your heart is being torn in two

Just as it was beginning to heal.

Have you ever felt that?

I have, and it feels like an eternity…

Like it never ever stops. ||

The time we spend apart makes our “hello’s” the sweetest, but when the time is over, the “goodbyes” are always the hardest.

 Just a little reminder to enjoy the times we have together and to cherish the memories forever. 

Live Life Well❤️ 

-mei 

 

 

 

M E M O R Y

 

||They say time flies

That the world doesn’t stop

They say to enjoy it

But I completely forgot

 

I couldn’t be bothered

And I didn’t know

That this doesn’t go on

That there’s an end to the show

 

I guess I was busy

With my selfish ego

With my concerns and wants

To just “Let it go!”

 

I didn’t get it

And I didn’t want to

I wanted it over

Because I thought I knew

 

BETTER.

I thought I knew more

I thought I was greater

But now all I am is sore

 

I took it for granted

The joy that was brought

The laughs that we shared

And the times that we fought

 

I didn’t get it

It didn’t quite click

But now! Now I know!

That it all goes by…so quick

 

I wish I could turn it back

All the way to the start

To the very first day

My favorite part

 

I can see the sunlight

As it beamed in the windows

I remember being the nobody

That no one knows

 

I was scared to death

By all the unknown

But once I entered the change

I knew I was home

 

I didn’t know it then

About all the memories

About the love that would last

Through the stormiest seas

 

I promise to keep it

In the safe of my heart

To remind myself then

That I’m no longer one part

 

This world throws us struggles

And tries to break us down

But I know I will cherish…

I know I won’t drown

 

I’ll stay here forever

I won’t back away

The night only lasts so long

Until it’s swept by the day

 

I wouldn’t trade it for anything

I wouldn’t take it all back

Y’all are my family

And I hope you know that||

I hope y’all are having a great Sunday evening! Just remember that time flies, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy every last second of it! Make sure to appreciate all the friends in your life, and to love those who have become your family through the thick and the thin. Life’s an adventure so live life well ❤

-Mei

5.23.17

“…time honestly flies by, and we have to be aware of that, and enjoy the good times a little more, and love the people in our lives a lot more, because you don’t realize how much they meant to you until you’re saying goodbye.”

 

Freshman Prom 2K17

 

Hi! It’s Mei 😀

Today was the last day of school, which meant it was also the last day of being a Freshman in high school. Honestly the “status” of being a fish didn’t bother me too much, but with the school year coming to a close, I’ve realized all of the great memories that I’ve made with all my classmates.

Throughout both semesters, we’ve had five kids drop out, and in a public school that’s whatever, but in a small private school, it’s lowkey a big change. I’ve enjoyed being with the ones who ended up leaving, but I realized how close the remaining few of us have become, and I’m really sad to see our good times come to a close. And YES I GET IT. Three months is no big deal, but it really is, especially considering that we spent every day with the same fifteen kids for hours each week.

Next week I’m sure I’ll be over it, but it’s all sort of settling in that time honestly flies by, and we have to be aware of that, and enjoy the good times a little more, and love the people in our lives a lot more, because you don’t realize how much they meant to you until you’re saying goodbye ❤ And lemme tell y’all I’m good at a few things, but  saying goodbye sure aint one of them, and that’s a fact I’ve learned throughout life.

Obviously I’m super relieved that it’s Summer, and I’m looking forward to the break and the pool parties(!), but I think it’s always good to have a little reminder to enjoy the people and things that we’re blessed to have around us, and to make sure they know how much you appreciate them ❤

Until next time! God bless and live life well

-Mei

Re-Introduction

Hi! It’s Mei 😀

So with school coming to a close (thank the Lord!), I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to spend my Summer. Of course I’ll want to hang out with friends, and I’ve already begun to put together a book list(!), but I wanted to participate in something creative and engaging that would put away all procrastinating for at least a few minutes out of my days. So when my best friend Eden asked for my assistance in creating a blog of her own, I decided to give blogging “a go” again. The both of us will be blogging all through the Summer (or so…That’s our plan), and you can find her blog here! She will be posting about her life experiences, all the crazy things that happen in her life, (and trust me things can get a little crazy with her, because let’s be real…She’s friends with me =P ) and the ways God’s working through her life.

As for me…I really needed to think about where I wanted to take the direction of my own blog. As you all can see, I’ve changed the outside look of my blog, but I knew I wanted to change more than just its appearance. When I created it back in 2015, I was hoping to make myself an outlet to share my poetry, but after contemplating the purpose of my blog, I’ve decided to broaden the span of the content beyond poetry, to include a quote or two I may come across, a little life experience I’ve had, or even an inspirational or motivational discovery I’ve made in my own life. My goal is to brighten your day, and if one quote or random musing of mine can bless you…Then that’s enough for me if it’s enough for you 🙂 Of course I’ll still be posting my poems, because I know that’s the reason why 99.9% of you are following me, but I hope you all will enjoy the exciting new course we’ll be taking together!

So until next time…God bless and live life well ❤

-Mei

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.

-Seth Godin

T R U T H

||when she was little

she dreamed of the world

in all of it’s beauty

in all of it’s splendor

it could do no wrong

but when she got older

her eyes opened

she saw the world

and with it, the pain

but as far as she could see

her heart grew further

and with it her love

grew once again

for the world

and it’s beauty ||

-Mei ❤